


Always

by NB_Ash_tree



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, Trans Character, Trans Michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 23:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5646025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NB_Ash_tree/pseuds/NB_Ash_tree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She. Michael felt the blade slice across his skin. Her. He watched the blood drip down his chest and onto the tiles at his feet. Girl. He swiped the blade across his godforsaken chest over and over and over again. Sister. His vision blurred into streaks of red and white as his eyes welled up with tears. Daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

_She._ Michael felt the blade slice across his skin. _Her._ He watched the blood drip down his chest and onto the tiles at his feet. _Girl._ He swiped the blade across his godforsaken chest over and over and over again. _Sister._ His vision blurred into streaks of red and white as his eyes welled up with tears. _Daughter._

The pain made him feel real. It reminded him that he existed and that it was his body that was wrong, not him. It pulled him away and distracted him from the turmoil in his life. Pain was consistent; it made sense, it stayed the same. Life didn’t.

The razor blade clattered to the floor, drops of blood splattering around it. Michael fell to his knees as blood dripped from the slashes in his skin; some reopened, some brand new. His hands ran through his hair, pulling and yanking at it.

“You’re wrong!” He screamed into the silence. “I’m not a girl! I am not! I’M NOT A GIRL! I’m… I’m not… I-I-no…!” His voice cracked and cut out as his words turned into sobs. Tears ran down his face and mixed with blood. The salty liquid stung at his cuts, but he barely noticed. Everything hurt. Everything hurt and nothing could make it go away. He was suffering. 

“Mich-” A familiar voice cut off. Michael didn’t care. He was lost in his own head, lost in the pain. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. His throat was hoarse and sore from sobbing. Tears still silently streamed down his face with an occasional choked out sob.

Suddenly there were warm arms wrapping around him.

“Shh… Shh… It’s okay Michael, you’re okay, I’m here, you’re fine…” Gavin murmured into Michael’s ear. He petted Michael’s hair and eased Michael’s hands away from the irritated skin he had been tearing at. 

They sat like that for who knows how long, until Michael stopped shaking and his breathing evened out. Gavin coaxed him into sitting up and treated his wounds. He cleaned Michael up and gave him his hoodie, then began to clean up the bathroom.

As Gavin was finishing up, he heard Michael suck in a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry,” Michael whispered.

Gavin was confused. He turned to look at Michael. “For what?”

“For… for being like... this…” Michael choked out. He squeezed his eyes shut and just focused on his breathing so he wouldn’t start to cry again.

“No, no, no, no, shh Michael,” Gavin swept Michael into his arms again, “Michael, listen to me. I love you. You don’t ever need to apologize. I love you, boi.”

Michael held on to Gavin as if he was the only thing keeping him anchored. He inhaled Gavin’s scent. He smelled like home. Gavin’s embrace was warm and comforting. Michael felt like as long as Gavin was there, he would be okay.

“Can you stay with me tonight?” Michael asked, his voice muffled from having his face pressed into Gavin’s chest.

Gavin kissed the top of Michael’s head. “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was a little vent work I did for my creative writing class. Personally, I see this in gta verse but you can look at it however you'd like. This is the first work I'm posting publicly, I hope you liked it! Hit me up on tumblr at nb-ash-tree.tumblr.com


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